Better a Foundation of Rock than a Feather in the Wind
I’ve read somewhere that’s it’s important to be aware of anniversary issues that may crop up and cause anxiety. My beautiful sixteen-year-old daughter is at the age I was when I began to dig deeper into unhealthy thinking. Thankfully my daughter isn’t in the same place I was—at all.
At 16, I was dating a bad boy. My parent’s marriage was disintegrating. And I was becoming ensnared in eating disorders. I was eating less and loving feeling hungry. While my friends were gaining curves and regular menstrual cycles, I was getting leaner and skipping cycles until they eventually stopped altogether.
In the last few weeks I’ve found myself falling back into the old worries about being fat.
How can I suddenly slip into old obsessions about my weight when my husband is generous with his affection and compliments?
And then it hit me. I’m experiencing two different anniversaries as autumn approaches. Not only is my daughter at the age I was when chaos clouded my thinking, she’s at the age my one and only niece died.
My daughter has stayed away from the things that harmed me and that stole her cousin’s life. So how can I be anxious? Am I going crazy?
No, I’m not crazy, I’m grieving. I’m grieving for my niece and for my younger self who screwed up their teenage years all the way to the edge of a cliff. And I’m struggling with the temptation to grasp onto something I think I can control because I can’t control the past, the present, or the future. Silly me. Of course I can’t. And I don’t need to. God can take care of everyone and everything.
Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
So I’m stepping up my prayers for the young people around me because I know from experience, and from observation, that all it takes for one good person to fall off the edge is for him or her to start hanging out with one bad person.
Yes, yes, yes, I know we’re all sinners. But some people are seriously deeper into sin that others are. Some people make victims out of the innocent. So I’m praying the young people I love stay far away from bad boys and bad girls. Because some are deadly.
God’s Word was what replaced my eating disordered thinking with lifesaving wisdom. I had to rebuild my life from the foundation up. And I will continue to build on the Word of God. This present anniversary storm is not going to knock me over. I’m clinging to the Rock.
It’s better to have a firm foundation than to be a feather in the wind when a crisis comes.
Putting God’s Word into practice
Is the wisest thing we can do
As it forms a firm foundation
That’s straight, strong, and true.
(She) is like a (woman) building a house,
who dug down deep
and laid the foundation on rock.
Luke 6:48 NIV
Have you ever experienced tension during the anniversary of a tragic event? How do you battle fear and anxiety? I’m forever nosy-to-know.
Solid Rock Recovery Blessings ~ Wendy